DEMONS: Episode Six - Nothing Like Nebraska

ITV1 - 7th February 2009 - 7.50pm

It's the finale. You'd think they'd pull the stops out. Just in a last ditch attempt to realise the potential of the format. Go out guns blazing, and all that, wishfully thinking ITV might commission a second series.

Did Galvin top Luke's dad?
No effing fear. Let's just spend forty odd minutes spinning out a truly dull plot involving clowns and mediums. Sorry, didn't we just see this lot in the last series of The Sarah Jane Adventures? And done better on a miniscule budget compared to the devalued pounds lavished on this turkey. We knew what this final episode was going to be about, didn't we. It's been telegraphed for the last six weeks. Did Galvin top Luke's dad? Watching this you'll learn that he didn't really but Mackenzie Crook and his bunch would like the limp Luke to think so in order to get him to kill Galvin. Now, I'll give writer Peter Tabern a bit of credit in actually managing to twist the predictable plot by having Luke murder Galvin under the impression that he killed his father whilst having the father, Jay Van Helsing (Jay, what kind of a name is that) turn out to be a half-life sympathiser. So, by extension, Galvin did leave Luke's father to die in a burning car. Kill the swine!

I guffawed through most of the opening scenes just because Luke uttered an unintentionally hilarious line about a clown hitting him with his balls. My mind wandered to imagining a gay porn version of this episode where a scenario he'd just described certainly wouldn't have been out of place. The trouble with this final episode is that it's too little too late as the creators awkwardly bolt on emotional baggage for Luke and attempt to make us care about the poor lad. Unfortunately, Christian Cooke isn't able to emote properly via the often terrible dialogue he's given. He tries to make us feel for Luke's predicament but I think the audience doesn't give a hoot. Add to this no discernable reason for baddie Gladiolus Thripp to set the two male leads against each other other than offering us a childish view of good versus evil. Why does Thripp do this? Revenge. Boredom.
Mina Harker - Vampire Detective. Coming soon to ITV3

And God help us, not only do we already have Phil Glenister mangling an accent for six weeks but then this script demands he plummet further by attempting an accent upon an accent when he's posing as a fellow medium from the Deep South. They're gluttons for punishment on this show, aren't they? It's a wonder Pauline McGlynn didn't run screaming from the room. She's about the only good thing in this as dotty medium Karen Speedwell and both she and Mackenzie Crook appear to be enjoying themselves far too much. Far more than the viewers who have to sit through plodding emotional heartbreak, zero action (apart from Cooke's boxing workout as part of the 'physical jerks in a black vest' clause in his contract) and Richard Wilson's Father Simeon carking it with a load of CGI flies coming out his gob. The best bit is once again down to Zoe Tapper. Mina knocks back the vampire blood and chews at Thripp's neck which makes him...turn into a puddle. Does anyone know why? Again, credit where it's due, they do end the series on a decent cliffhanger. Mina's turned into a vampire and is off across the rooftops in search of a bite to eat. Brilliant launch pad for the spin-off Mina Harker - Vampire Detective. Coming soon to ITV3

There is nowhere for this to go now. The Stokerisms could well have been the making of the series but a cartload of Buffy, popcorn Hollywood vampire and monster movie tropes, rather insipid lead characters, and castrated plotting have truly knocked the legs from under it. Goodbye Demons.

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10 Responses to “DEMONS: Episode Six - Nothing Like Nebraska”
  1. Mina Harker - Vampire Detective. Coming soon to ITV3

    I'd watch it! I mean, it'd be hard pushed to be worse. Strikes me as being a bit more ITV4 though.

    Anyway this ended on a damp squib didn't it? Starting as they meant to carry on, I suppose.
    I did have a big comment typed up about the creepy and hopefully unintentional undertones of the dénouement (though that word seems to imply there was an actual climax), but that didn't seem to be working out, so instead I'll just thank you for your recap/views, as they're a damn site more entertaining than the programme itself.

    Oh, yes, apparently Glenister's character's alterego is from the Deep South of Pennsylvania; the Deep South apparently stretching to the Canadian border in Demons' world.

  2. Pleasure, Niall.

    Yes, a very confused accent. Never mind, Glenister will be back to redeem himself soon in the second series of 'Ashes To Ashes'.

    I might write a mock treatment for 'Mina Harker - Vampire Detective' just for a laugh.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I can't decide if I should watch the last one or not.

  4. Please do - and post it on here.


  5. Anonymous says:

    As you wish!

  6. Anonymous says:

    I was trying to find the episode online (because I feel lazy and downloadings a bore)
    and I found this:

    "So it was the last episode of Demons. Will it come back? Probably not? Will we see Christian Cooke naked this year - yes we will in his next TV show - called Trinity. It has already been filmed and will air sometimes this year."

    I feel slightly more fulfilled.

  7. I looked up Trinity on Wikipedia.

    "Trinity is a forthcoming eight-part ITV2 drama set in fictional Bridgeford University. The drama has the tag-line 'Recreational sex, recreational drugs and random murder.'"

    Good grief.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Well.... I'm down!

    So Im watching the episode.. Ill do a play-by-play.
    Them chasing the clown was funny, and Luke getting hit with its ball... well... thats was funny too =P /Hi I'm a thirteen year old boy trapped in a young ladies body.
    Oh, I thought the flies coming out of the old guys mouth were HILARIOUS!
    This has clearly become a comedy.
    Im so jealous of Ruby when he hugs her. Guh.
    Why can't that be me?!
    I love that coat hes wearing.
    I wish I was that puching bag, too.
    I like how he has to ask what the gun is, and how scared he is.
    Question: They vapo-demon-ized that Tripp guy back in episode 1, why is he back?
    Putting a towel over the gun makes it disappear.
    I wouldn't be suspicious if someone asked to meet me in a weird abandoned building. Not at all. If you need a flashlight to meet someone, and your not a CSI, you shouldn't go.
    I hope Mina goes all vampire. *makes fangs with fingers to indicate vampire*
    Why isn't porcelain nose dead?
    ... How is he now a vampire? Seriously?!
    Im in love with Mina. I want to be her. and have her shoes. FUCK YES BLOOD SUCKING! YES! I am fulfilled.
    Kidding. It would have been sweeter if she had killed them all and then that was just.. it.

    Pizza? Really? Thats like.. how they want to end the season off with a bang. Pizza? and what is it with this show and pizza? Seriously, one of the writers must have been on a diet when this was being done.

    Why can't the show just be about Mina!? Omg. Im soo INTERESTED NOW IN WHATS HAPPENING TO HER!

    Generally, glad its over. Will miss Mina and Cookes Chest. Happy Ruby can finally take off those aweful pants theyve been making her wear. Sad to lose Mina's shoes.

  9. Well, Sydney, I think that covered all the salient points. Shoes, awful pants and a man's chest. Hurrah!

  10. I haven't actually seen this episode, so Sydney's synopsis has a certain surreal charm.

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